A Beautiful Mind?

The human mind. What a beautiful and miraculous creation. While in my anatomy class last semester I remember holding multiple brains in my hands and being awestruck. This structure of the human body is what allows people to physically move their body, create their own masterpieces, participate in activities, memorize, see, hear, smell, touch, taste, learn, communicate, experience adrenaline rushes, be frightened, be happy, be sad, be angry, make decisions, analyze, ETC! While studying the brain in anatomy I had to memorize the nerves that allow us to have our five senses, have feeling on our face and throughout our body and some of these nerves were as thin as a piece of thread! One little thread connection in your body allows you to do/feel so many things! We really are beautiful creations, each part of us!

Have you ever heard the phrase "You are your own worst critic/enemy"? Well that phrase definitely applies to me...and I am sure, many of you as well. While our brains truly are a magnificent and delicate organ, they can certainly be a black hole. This black hole slurps us into this dark abyss where we start to  believe all types of strange lies about ourselves. After being in this abyss, we begin to doubt, criticize,  and blame ourselves. We loose our confidence, self esteem and self worth. It is a horrible place. It is scary moment when you realize that your own mind is what is holding you back from being yourself. This is my current problem that I have fallen back into. I have been fighting to not fall into this black hole for my whole life. It is a current battle I fight...one that I thought I had won a couple months ago but now here I am fighting it again.

I have come to the conclusion that the biggest battles we fight are the ones we have to keep fighting or else it will sneak up on us one day and we will loose big time because we put our guard down. I have learned this the hard way.

My mind, as blessed as I am to have a healthy one, can fall into a very vicious and depressing cycle where everything I think about becomes intertwined with something negative. Unfortunately I somehow got into this habit at a very young age. In a spiritual sense (if you don't mind), I think that Satan started to throw tainted thoughts into my head when I was too young to know how to fight them off, so I believed them instead.

But at least I now know how to work on putting an end to this harsh cycle in my mind. I never really understood the importance of "watching your thoughts" until a couple years ago when my therapist helped me understand that I am where I am mentally because of ONE THOUGHT that multiplies into millions because I LET IT. The quote "Change your thoughts and you change your world" really is true. There is a night and day difference between my life/outlook on life when I am thinking positive thoughts versus negative. (And I thank those friends and family who help me out when I am in my black hole and the world is negative).

Breaking this cycle is hard and exhausting believe it or not because for me, I take each thought that is rumbling through my mind and discern if it is good or bad. If it is negative, I have to work on believing the positive side of that negative thought....and for a person who struggles to do that naturally and quickly...it is very difficult. But deep inside me somewhere I pull out the strength to keep fighting and trying to believe the positive side of my negative thoughts. I have firmly decided to try my hardest to reach my potential. I want to be my own best friend (in a non-conceited way). I want to help lift myself up in a positive way instead of beat myself to a negative pulp.

I have come a long way from my severe depression days, but that doesn't mean that I am completely free from them either. I have to continually fight and strive to be better. For those of you who struggle out there with depression or some form of it, I hope that you know that you're not alone ever. Even though most days, it definitely feels like it (I definitely know how that feels). Take a minute to look around you and notice that there are people around you who care about you and that you matter to. I am not sure who even reads this blog of mine but I also want to remind you, even if you aren't religious, that I personally do know that there is a loving Heavenly Father who is ever mindful of you and all you are going through. He loves each and every one of us. I know that for a fact. He has blessed us with beautiful bodies and minds created in His image. We just have to constantly watch our thoughts - because they will affect our actions and our life's direction.

On those days that I don't have the strength to fight any of my thoughts in my mind, I take strength from a verse found in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."