The tears seep out from my eyes, slide down my cheeks and slip off onto my shirt. A wet dot on my shirt is the only remnant of the tear that fell there and within minutes it disappears. Tears... tiny emblems of the pain within, the sorrow, the aching for something unknown. It feels good to cry today and since I am alone, the tears freely fall... and the evidence disappears to everyone else but there is one person who knows that I cried today. He has been with me through all of it, all twenty one years of my life. He saw and helped me reach great heights, and when I downward spiraled and crashed, He was my comfort. He was there in the middle times of my life too, when things were not so great and not so bad. He has never left me. He has been the greatest friend and brother to me. I am never alone because He is there, always. He is my Savior, Jesus Christ.
We all have our times of hardship and lifetime challenges - the times when we feel overstretched and nearing life's category of impossibility. This past week I felt like I was in that category. Too many stresses kept being heaped onto my plate of life and I was in no condition to stomach them so I broke down today. I felt even worse when I realized that I had no one who I could talk to that would understand what pain I was feeling. Then for a brief moment I had a flashback a few years back to all the many nights I struggled through my pains, my choices and hardships. Throughout each of those nights I came to know that I was never alone - I found myself begging and pleading on my knees for some help, and I received it. Even in my darkest moments, my Savior was there. He had suffered what I would suffer, along with every other person who came and will come to this Earth. So when I have the most horrendous day and think that no one could possibly understand, I am wrong. Because someone does and He weeps with me when I hurt and comforts me always. I have tried other ways to be comforted in this life, and each one was a sad excuse for relief. All those other ways brought me to feel a deeper emptiness than I already felt, and that is when I truly came to know my Savior and cast my burdens upon Him. He helped lift my load and brighten the darkness within me.
I know that post is more spiritual than what I usually write. But I wrote this for two reasons which I will explain: partially for me, I need reminders when I am too sad to get myself out of the ruts in life, and secondly, I do not write this to offend anyone or to sound preachy, but rather to maybe remind other people out there just like me that they are not alone. Each tear drop that falls from your precious eyes is felt by the man who suffered for those tears long ago. He loves you always, and He is always there if you acknowledge His presence and let Him help you.
